I wasn't able to finish writing that novel this weekend. Do you think I will have to return the advance money?

I am sorry to report that while casting off parts as though they were loose hubcaps, the one-eyed, three-legged dog from next door also inadvertently threw off his mortal coil.

I'm sorry in all kinds of ways.

The broken-hearted doggy-parents rushed right out and purchased a replacement--a lovely, similarly-colored pup of uncertain parentage they have named Clara. And while Clara may (for now) be in possession of all her appendages, she does lack her predecessor's calm reserve, his stoicism, his placability. I've been listening to her whine, moan, and howl from across the way all weekend.

As it turns out, if you're thumping around on three legs and have to cant your head a certain way to see all that there is to see, it just doesn't occur to you to lean back on your haunches and bitch all day because you've been left home alone.